The Corvette Stingray
Stories in the 4th book of the Naughty Natalie Series
The Corvette Stingray
Back in the mid 1980s there was a 1982 Chevy Corvette Stingray owned by a businessman going through a mid-life crisis. Yes the businessman having grey hair and “man boobies” driving a fast car was to make him feel young again. All summer the Corvette Stingray wanted to race Naughty Natalie in the 37 Dodge when she was driving but never wanted to race me when I was driving. I guess part of a mid-life crisis is to race and beat a good looking young lady not race and beat me the owner of the 37 Dodge hot rod truck that looks to be a 14 years old “Virgin”. Naughty Natalie was driving the 37 Dodge with Liz sitting in the middle of the truck and I was on the passenger side when the Corvette Stingray appeared wanting to race. It was cool September night with a full moon so the street could be seen well. Since Naughty Natalie was already doing the 30mph speed limit in the 37 Dodge when the Corvette Stingray pull out and beside the her. The Corvette Stingray was doing the little bunny hops at speed to show Naughty Natalie that it wanted to race. Naughty Natalie looks at me across Liz and I just smiled because the Corvette Stingray is easy to beat with a rolling start. The Corvette Stingray was marketed to the middle class men to help them through their mid-life crisis by “wrapping their ass in fiberglass”. Which basically means all show and no go. The road we were on has the famous “dead man’s curve” made famous in all Hollywood movies. Both Naughty Natalie and I have driven the 37 Dodge through “dead man’s curve” numerous times at high speeds and never though much of it. It is Liz who is scared of “dead man’s curve” because she is putting her life in the hands of teenage kids 9 year younger then she is.
Naughty Natalie replies back to the Corvette Stingray with making the 37 Dodge do a few bunny hops which mean challenge accepted on a race. Then Naughty Natalie drops the 37 Dodge a gear on the 4 speed transmission and kicks the gas pedal to the floor to open up the 4 barrels in the carburetor. When Naughty Natalie does this Liz sitting in the middle of the truck closes her eyes and asked to be buried in her home town on the east coast of Canada. No matter how many times we have this “fun moment” in the 37 Dodge Liz being older then us is always worried of the out come. With the 37 Dodge having the plywood camper shell on the box of the truck I can not see out the back window to see the Corvette Stingray. I can tell by the head lights shining in the mirrors of the 37 Dodge that Naughty Natalie has this race won by half a car length. Which is good because she is not driving the 37 Dodge very hard because we are just having fun. Now Naughty Natalie has to bring the truck’s speed down from 120mph to 70mph to make “dead man’s curve” which is the usual speed the corner can be taken. To slow the 37 Dodge down quickly plus using the brakes Naughty Natalie drop the transmission from 4th gear to 3rd gear and takes her foot off the gas to let the engine slow the truck down too. At this point Liz does not even attempt to open her eyes because she know “dead man’s curve” is just ahead and Naughty Natalie will then do a hard acceleration to get the 37 Dodge to hug the curves as she drives the truck through in full control. We have done this many times and it does not matter if I am driving or Naughty Natalie is driving Liz is concerned for some reason. The businessman in the Corvette Stingray knows this road well and should in theory be slowing down to make “dead man’s curve”. All we can see is the heads light from the Corvette Stingray in the mirrors of the 37 Dodge but we do not know how much of a lead Naughty Natalie won this race by. Just as we enter in to the curve of “dead man’s curve” the Corvette Stingray goes flying pass the 37 Dodge in a high speed attempt to make the curve. Naughty Natalie is a lady of style and class and nothing effects her even on stage dancing naked because she is always in control. I know I would have lost concentration when the Corvette Stingray went flying by the 37 Dodge only to crash in the ditch rolling several times. But Naughty Natalie stayed focused and powered the 37 Dodge through “dead man’s curve” like she has done numerous time. But when she exited the curved she had to slow the truck down very quickly and make a quick u-turn to head back to the crashed Corvette Stingray. Liz was lucky and never seen anything of the Corvette Stingray flying past the 37 Dodge because her eyes were closed like all other times traveling through this curve. Naughty Natalie and I never spoke a word or said any expression in a moan or an AHH to indicate there was an accident. It was when Naughty Natalie spun the 37 Dodge around quickly that Liz asked if the Corvette Stingray crashed. In a calm voice I told Liz “yes”.
It seemed like a long drive back to “dead man’s curve” plus the uncertainty was unreal. As we drive we see no lights in the ditch or any fires which is both a good thing. Naughty Natalie parks the 37 Dodge to shine the head lights down to the crashed Corvette Stingray which there is not much left. The saying of “wrap your ass in fiberglass” does not protect your ass when crashing at 100mph plus. The Corvette Stingray was well destroyed as we rush to find the driver. The businessman is just coming awake when we arrived at what was left of the passenger compartment of the American made sports car. Naughty Natalie and Liz help the businessman out of the wrecked Corvette Stingray while I shine my flashlight around in the dark to make sure there are no fires starting or already started. That is when I noticed everything in the trunk of the Corvette Stingray is now scattered all over the ground. The businessman to make extra income to afford fancy things in life was not selling bedroom toys but what the cops have been trying to bust the 3 of us for the last year,,,,drugs. As the ladies help the businessman to the 37 Dodge I run back to the truck and get my screw driver and head back to the wrecked Corvette Stingray. I remove the keys from the ignition and jam the screw driver in where the key goes to turn the Corvette Stingray on. Using the screw driver makes it look like it has been stolen. Then I grabbed the vehicle registration out of the glove box with the automatic garage door opener too. The last thing I grabbed are any items of the businessman from his jacket to his briefcase.
Back at the 37 Dodge the ladies have the businessmen in the back of the 37 Dodge camper shell. There is no room in the cab of the 37 Dodge for 4 people to sit because it is tight with the 3 of us being skinny. I asked Liz who was in the camper shell comforting the businessman if the fellow has his wallet. Liz then checks his pants pockets and find his wallet. Liz agrees to ride with the businessman as we head to his house. I now drive the 37 Dodge as Naughty Natalie looks up in the Road Atlas the address of where the businessman lives in Brandon upper class neighborhood. When she points the location on the page of the Road Atlas with the flashlight shining so I can see in the dark cab of the truck. We both smile at the same time because we have been to this house numerous times when driving the biker ladies around. In the world of the bikers there are lots of secrets and you never ask questions. It did not take long to arrive at the fancy house in the upper class neighborhood. The hardest parts was not driving the 37 Dodge hard because the 3” exhaust side pipes will attack unwanted attention which we do not want. Naughty Natalie hit the button on the automatic garage door opener and I drove the 37 Dodge inside the garage attached to the fancy house. Naughty Natalie quickly closed the garage door with the automatic door opener. Once the garage door was closed that is when we got out of the 37 Dodge. The businessman’s wife was now standing in the garage looking at us but not surprised because she knows Naughty Natalie and I from driving her around when we are asked by the bikers to make sure these ladies are taken care off. Nobody says a word as we walk to the back to the 37 Dodge to open the plywood shell camper door. Liz now gets out of the camper with a shocked look on her face because of where we are. Then she recognizes the wife of the businessman and still no one says a word. It is biker code not to talk in case someone is listening. The businessman climbs out of the camper shell and is banged up but OK from the accident. All he does is smile at his wife and he knows she is not impressed. No words are spoken as everyone uses the bathroom and the businessman quickly changes his clothes. His wife just watches and does not say anything. The businessman hands me a stack of cash money then gives Naughty Natalie and Liz each a stack then puts what is left of the cash in his pocket. He makes sure to hand his wife his wallet and car keys but not saying at word because it is all done with motions.
I am now handed the keys to the brand new Mercedes-Benz 560 SEL 4 door sedan car parked in the garage beside the 37 Dodge. The 37 Dodge is parked where the Corvette Stingray is usually parked but tonight it will not be returning. The last and final thing the businessman grabbed from the house as we entered the garage was a bottle of booze. We all wave to his wife as I open the back door of the Mercedes-Benz for everyone to sit in the back because I am now chauffeuring them around tonight. As I wait for the garage door to open which is being done by the wife with the button on the wall of the garage. I see the 3 of them in the back seat each taking turns drinking out of the bottle of booze to get drunk very quickly. It was not until I went to put the Mercedes-Benz in to reverse gear to back out of the garage is when I realized the car is all in the German language. This car was not purchased here in Canada because it came right from Germany through the German military training at Shilo Military base. It is nothing to have a car like this tossed aboard a Hercules military airplane and flown to Canada. But to get the car fixed in Canada is a different story because the parts are expensive and take forever for the Mercedes-Benz dealer to have them shipped to Canada from Germany. Nobody says a word as I drive the Mercedes-Benz to the local tough guys bar in down town Brandon. The 3 of them in the back keep passing the booze bottle back and forth so they will be getting drunk when we arrive at the tough guys bar. We do not have to speak because we have done this before and know what to do. When we arrive at the tough guys bar I pull up in front and Naughty Natalie, Liz and the businessman get out of the Mercedes-Benz and go in the tough guys bar. I pull the Mercedes-Benz away from the curb and drive down the street to drive up the back lane to the back of the tough guys bar. Now I sit and wait because out the back door of this bar, the businessman will be coming out the door that he did not open. As I wait I familiarize myself with the fancy new Mercedes-Benz car because everything is written in German. It seemed like it was only 3 songs on the radio had played when the businessman came flying out the back door of the tough guys bar. Now Naughty Natalie and Liz walk out the door but are walking a bit drunk because they have drank a lot of straight booze in a short time. They go over and help the businessman off the ground and in to the back seat of the Mercedes-Benz car. Of course he is bleeding from getting beat up in the tough guy bar but that is what we wanted to happen. Being a businessman with a big ego and walking in to a bar a little drunk with 2 young ladies that should be featured in Playboy Magazine. It was only a matter of minutes and the ego of the businessman fuel by booze upset set the local tough guys in the tough guys bar. Now getting beat up covers all injuries from smashing up the Corvette Stingray less then an hour earlier. Plus there is lots of eye wittiness that will be needed later when the cops are asking about what was in the truck of the Corvette Stingray.
Now we need to clean up the businessman and get something to eat because everyone is getting drunk way to fast because we have a long night ahead of us. In downtown Brandon, the business people hang out at a fancy cafe’ in the basement of the tallest office building in down town. There is the regular entrance at the front of the building where you ride the elevator or the delivery entrance at the back of the building which involves a lot of stairs. I know the delivery entrance well from delivering for the dry cleaners that I worked at when I was 16 years old and starting my working career. The whole idea of tonight fun is to show the world the businessman having a good time and he is sad because his Corvette Stingray was stolen earlier in the evening. Plus driving the Mercedes-Benz must be seen to so the world knows we are traveling style. I would be more worried about someone asking why a car from Germany not made for export being driven around Brandon Manitoba in the middle of Canada by an 18 year old who looks to be a 14 years old “Virgin”. I dropped the ladies and the businessman at the back of the building and park the Mercedes-Benz out front for the world to see. I then walk around to the back of the big office building thinking that the 3 of them are in the fancy cafe’ in the basement of the building. I was so wrong when I opened the door to go down the stairs to the basement of the building. Naughty Natalie, Liz and the businessman did not make it very far down the stairs because they are extra drunk. Now I have to help them down the stairs and to the employee’s bathroom of the cafe’ located at the back of the kitchen. The amount of noise made by these 3 drunks brought the attention of the workers in the cafe’s kitchen. They were not happy to see teenage kids drunk wearing Heavy Metal Music clothes but were more surprised to see the businessman who they know very well all beaten up. They jumped into help the 3 drunks and I just tagged along. The staff of the cafe’ had the businessman cleaned up very quickly because my ladies were really to drunk to be of any help. Nobody really asked any questions or really said anything because the businessman has money and he will be paying them very well for their services.
With everyone cleaned up and trying to act normal we are now escorted out the fancy dining area of the cafe’. Of course the businessman has to meet and talk to everyone he knows and sees in the fancy cafe’ which is the whole plan. We are introduced as his new friends and we just smile as the businessman enjoys himself. They sit us at a quiet table in the corner so we can be seen but not really seen. It is decided no booze and to eat and sober up because it will be a long night with trying to be seen every where. I order a nice steak dinner which I enjoyed but the ladies order food that they know they will be sick on booze and throw up later in the evening. I laugh to my self because everyone in this fancy cafe’ is treating us as young kids who have never been to these fancy places to eat. This is because nobody knows about our secret life as travel magicians putting on shows across Canada and flying in private jets. We stay and enjoy food at places 10 times fancier then what is offered in Brandon but we do not say anything. Near the end of our meal everyone is sobering up and we chat about the fun we are going to have tonight. I just smile because I can not drink and in the morning I will be feeling fine and everyone else will be very sick and think they are going to die. Once our meal was done the businessman ask for a group picture of all of us at the water fountain that this fancy cafe’ is known for. The fancy cafe’ has a Polaroid camera which took our picture to be used later for reference purposes. Then the businessman asked the owners of the fancy cafe’ if he can borrow the Polaroid camera for the night to take pictures with his new friends. The owners had a strange look on their faces as they hand the camera to me. I then checked to see how much film was left because lots of pictures will be need tonight. Now I have to drive the drunks around and take pictures of them having fun but no fun for me. Oh my, this is not fun.
We leave the fancy cafe’ by using the elevator to travel from the basement to the main floor then a quick walk out the front doors of the office building to the Mercedes-Benz. I act as the chauffeur and open the back door for Naughty Natalie, Liz and the businessman to get in. The 3 of them just smile at me because they are having fun but I am not being sober. Now I have to drive these 3 to all the bars and places that serve booze so the businessman can be seen having fun with his new friends which I take pictures with the borrowed Polaroid camera. I make sure to get the location in the picture and if possible the time in the picture too. Back in the mid 1980s people wore watches and every where you looked had a clock on the wall to know the time. Today in the year 2020 nobody wears watches plus there are no clocks on the walls because everyone has their hand held phones with them. We are having a great time bar hoping to see and been seen plus everyone is holding their booze to be drunk enough to have fun but not too drunk. People that know the businessman are very surprised when we are introduced as his new friends plus Naughty Natalie and Liz get stared at very intensely because they should be featured on the pages of Playboy Magazine not hanging out with me or the businessman. Just when everyone has had enjoyed enough fun from drinking and we were heading back to the businessman’s house when the cops pulls us over. Once the seen the lights of the cop car flashing I pulled over in a safe area on the side of the road because I figured we would be a lot time with the cops. The rookie cop walked up to the driver’s door of the Mercedes-Benz and asked why I was driving the fancy car. Now that is when I knew it is was not a traffic stop but to get information. The cops have now discovered a smashed up Corvette Stingray in the ditch registered to the businessman. They have gone to his house and talked to his wife who knows nothing of what is going on. Now the cops have seen the only new Mercedes-Benz driving around Brandon and parked for a short time at all the drinking places in town. The cops pulling the Mercedes-Benz over will give them information on who is driving and involved with the vehicle. They do not have just cause to pull the vehicle over on a traffic stop so it is just for information. The rookie cop should be asking if I am old enough to even drive because I look like a 14 years old “Virgin”. The rookie cop is quick to point out that the Mercedes-Benz car is all in German language which is very rare in the middle of Canada. When the rookie cop shines his flashlight in to the back of the Mercedes-Benz all he got to see was the businessman sitting in the middle of the back seat with lots of facial bruises from getting beat up at the tough guys bar. Then Naughty Natalie and Liz sitting close to him and leaning up tight to him and showing off the cleavage which the rookie cop has to use the flashlight to focus in on. Nobody says a word and the rookie cop thanked us for our time.
As the rookie cop walks back to the cop car I do everything legal in pulling back out on to the road and driving away because the last thing I want is to break the law and have a good reason for the rookie cop to pull me over on a traffic violation. I drive directly to the businessman house and park inside the garage beside the 37 Dodge. Nobody gets out of the car because we know the cops are on their way to the businessman's house. Nobody talks and his wife does not come to the garage or even opens the people door to the house to peak in to see what is going on in the garage. I then hit the automatic garage door opener to open the garage door and back the Mercedes-Benz out of the garage and drive away. While we were in the garage the cops drove by and will be ordering a search warrant for the businessman’s house because of what was in the truck of the Corvette Stingray. The cops also think the businessman is now home but he is not so the search warrant means nothing. Now we have to keep visible but not to the cops and party where we would never partied before, “yes” the Disco Club with the sister and Disco Queens. This is a prefect cover story because anything we do or say will be told to mother by the sister. Then mother being high up as a civilian at the Military Police Building on the Shilo Base will have credibility. We arrive at the Disco Club and park the Mercedes-Benz in the motel parking lot beside the Disco Club to look as it is a guest’s car. The only bad part of the going to the Disco Club is I am sober and everyone else is really drunk. This will be the hardest things to do and pretend I am having fun. As soon as we walked in the Disco Club, the sister and the Disco Queens spot us and we spot them. We join them at their table and the businessman flashes the cash to buy everyone drinks so he is well remembered. It was the longest night of my life thinking that it was only 2 hours till last call then the Disco Club does not empty out because these disco crowds are different. It almost 3am in the morning and of course the sister’s car won’t start because she left the headlights on like she always does. Now we have the sister and the Disco Queens in the new Mercedes-Benz heading to the house paryt of the disco crowd. As long as the booze is flowing Naughty Natalie, Liz and the businessman are happy but I am not having fun doing this sober. We have to stay at the house party till 6am because that is crew change for the cops. That was the worse 3 hours of my life and I was glad to drive back to the businessman’s house. Naughty Natalie, Liz and the businessman have had enough partying and are basically falling asleep in the back seat of the Mercedes-Benz as I drive by the street which the businessman lives on. I do this to check to see if the cops are sitting out front of his house waiting for us to return. I did not see any cop cars so I circle around the block then drive down the street to the businessman’s house. I pull the Mercedes-Benz back in the garage like I did 6 hours ago and wait for the garage door to close. I then help the very drunk ladies and businessman out of the back seat of the car and in to the house. Naughty Natalie and Liz head down stairs to use the bathroom while the businessman heads to use the bathroom in his own house. I toss the Polaroid pictures of the night of fun on the kitchen table with the keys for the new Mercedes-Benz in case his wife needs to drive some where. I then join the ladies down stairs who have found the guest room only to pass out on top of the bed. Naughty Natalie is so drunk she still has her clothes on which is very rare for her when she wants to be comfortable. I used the bathroom then climb in to bed because I know in 3 hours the cops will be here asking questions.
I woke up to Naughty Natalie and Liz under the covers in the guest bed and to the sounds of the wife walking around upstairs. I decide to get up and have a coffee with the wife and check out the details of the cops visiting last night. When I crawl out of bed the ladies did not move or care that I was gone because they were in a deep sleep from all the booze they drank in 12 hours of non stop drinking. When I go upstairs the wife is in her bathrobe and motions me to seat at the kitchen table as she got up to pour me a cup of coffee. The wife has the Polaroid pictures laid out on the table because she was looking at them. All the pictures shows the ladies with lots of cleavage and big smiles as they hug her husband when I took the pictures. The wife does not say anything or ask anything about the night of fun. She knows from the cops that the Corvette Stingray was destroyed in a bad crash that she figures her husband was driving. She does not no anything about what was in the trunk of the Corvette Stingray that the cops are asking about. We sit in silence drinking our coffees and only making eye contact. I can see in her eyes that if her husband has was worth more money then he is. She would have DIEvorced him along time ago and be able to live the lifestyle that she is a custom too. But she just has to sit and worry all night and deal with the cops on things she knows nothing of. There is a lot at stake with the drugs being in the trunk of the Corvette Stingray since the cops are always thinking we have the drugs. That is why they are always raiding Liz’s PMQ on the Shilo base plus stopping by the little apartment a few time looking for the drugs. As the wife and I sit and enjoy our morning coffee Liz was the first to come up from the down stairs guest room. She was the walking dead because of all the booze she drank. She did not say anything as she drank her coffee and looked at the Polaroid pictures on the kitchen table. Then it was Naughty Natalie to join us at the kitchen table for morning coffee. She was in no better shape then Liz and said nothing as she looked at the Polaroid pictures and enjoyed her coffee.
As we enjoyed the second cup of morning coffee the door bell rang and it was the cops wanting to ask questions about last night. The wife let them in and offered them morning coffee which they accepted because they knew they would be here a long time. The cops asked us if we knew anything about a destroyed Corvette Stingray in the ditch by “dead man’s curve” we all said we knew nothing. Then the cops asked us why we were partying with the businessman last night as they looked at all the Polaroid pictures on the kitchen table. The ladies replied back it was free booze and now they are paying for it this morning. The ladies were in no shape or form to be answering any cop questions because they just want to go back to bed which they did when they had enough of the cops. Then the cops asked me question which I did not give them any answers too. All the answers to their questions laid on the kitchen table in the Polaroid pictures. The wife went and got the businessman from the bedroom for the cops to talk to. When he came out of the bedroom he looked like a walking zombie because all his bruises from the accident and getting beat up at the tough guy bar were now well swollen. He was having a hard time walking to the kitchen table to join his wife and I with the cops. As he said good morning to the cops he grab a bottle of booze from the fancy liquor cart in the kitchen. As the businessman sat down at the kitchen table he spun the top off the booze bottle and had a good stiff drink right out of the bottle to show the cops he will not be sober long to answer any questions. The first thing the one cop asked the businessman if he wanted legal representation to be present when he is asked these questions. The businessman replied back that he is his legal council and please begin with the question. As they asked the first question the businessman took another stiff drink from the booze bottle to show the cops the questions better be asked quickly. The question was asked if he knew where his Corvette Stingray is. The businessman looked the cops in the eyes and said the car was stolen yesterday evening as he slide the Corvette Stingray keys across the table to the cops. Then he asked if the cops found his beloved Corvette Stingray. That is when both cops looks at each other to see who is going to answer the businessman’s question. The one cop replied back that car has been located but destroyed in a car accident at a very high speed. With that the businessman took a really good drink from the booze bottle then asked if the cops have caught the car thieves yet. The cops replied back that they are working on it plus have one more question to ask. The businessman agreed to answer the cops next question. The cops both look at each other like they did the last time then the one cop ask the businessman if that was his drugs in the trunk of the Corvette Stingray. Now the businessman loses it to the cops for even asking a question like that in his house and in front of his wife plus in front of this young fellow as he pointed to me. Now the businessman takes and another stiff drink from the booze bottle and asks the cops to leave his house. The cops left the house with no other questions or any drama. Once they were gone the businessman went back to bed to recover while his wife and I enjoyed the booze bottle. Once I had enough to drink to close my eyes I went back downstairs to the guest room to join Naughty Natalie and Liz. Naughty Natalie was not even snoring like she always does which made it easy for me to fall asleep.
We wake up at supper time to the smells of home cooked food coming from upstairs. The ladies are still pretty sick from all the free booze they drank but I enjoyed a very nice meal with the wife. Naughty Natalie and Liz both got their suppers to go to be eaten back at the little apartment. We say good bye to the wife and never did see the businessman as we left. The 37 Dodge sounded so good in the garage of the fancy house as I backed it out in to the darkness of early evening. It was a quick drive across Brandon to the little apartment but the ladies complained about how loud the 3” exhaust side pipes were on their head and ears. Once back in the little apartment the ladies just went to bed for some reason and saying they will never drink booze again.
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